The first time your heart was torn from your chest,
You thought you were dying.
You knew you could not live with the empty space.
So you replaced your heart with metaphors
And set out to create a world where the metaphor was unbreakable.
Now look what you’ve done—
You can’t breathe so you write.
You can’t hurt so you drink rum and pour our pirate chanties.
You can’t want revenge so you leave.
When I see you I have two thoughts:
You are the reason The Smith’s wrote songs,
And my god, you are beautiful.
You are so beautiful
Blinking stars go blind.
But I can see this is going to get ugly.
The metaphors don’t make you feel whole anymore.
You sell out your deepest insecurities for a handful of laughs.
This life has you wound so tight you make grandfather clocks look relaxed.
You hold your body like banks hold money—all locked up.
Your shoulders are glass rocks waiting for the next attack.
But you’ve got it all wrong.
You don’t survive history.
History survives you.
There is no breakthrough without breakdown.
If you’re going to break, shatter.
No limp-legged dog excuses.
No messing with this bullet proof vest fury
So popular with the cops and the presidents.
You’ve got to break like Texas.
You’ve got to take the pain from the safety valve of your heart
And return it to your fists.
Fight your better judgment ‘till you’re sinister again,
‘till your body remembers what it already knows how to do—
and manifest grief.
Scream torches ‘till you embarrass the enlightened.
Please. No more polite conversations with your death wish.
Give it something useful to do.
Change your life.
Cause I can’t stand to see you like this.
So blue, my eyes turn green in your presence.
Listen—you are so beautiful,
Grass pushes through sidewalk cracks just to kiss your feet.
Maybe no one ever told you,
But the heart IS a metaphor.
Yours is growing so strong
You’ll have your rhythm back any day now—
Loving like rumours spread.
Dreaming like lunatic spacemen jump from their suits.
Living like you never forgot how.
—Mindy Nettifee, “The First Time” (via feellng)
The First Time
Important Dates Masterlist
- September 16, 2014: New Girl season premiere
- September 19, 2014: The Maze Runner
- September 22, 2014: Gotham series premiere
- September 23, 2014: Agents of SHIELD season premiere
- September 25, 2014: Bones season premiere, Scandal season premiere
- October 2, 2014: The Vampire Diaries season premiere
- October 3, 2014: The Legend of Korra season premiere
- October 6, 2014: The Originals season premiere
- October 7, 2014: The Flash series premiere, Supernatural season premiere, The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan
- October 8, 2014: Arrow season premiere
- October 27, 2014: Taylor Swift - 1989 album
- October 30, 2014: Elementary season premiere
- November 4, 2014: The Retribution of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin
- November 7, 2014: Interstellar
- November 21, 2014: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
- November 23, 2014: American Music Awards
- November 26, 2014: Horrible Bosses 2
- January 7, 2015: People's Choice Awards
- January 11, 2015: Golden Globe Awards
- January 25, 2015: Screen Actors Guild Awards
- January 27, 2015: Bound by Flames by Jeaniene Frost
- February 8, 2015: Grammy Awards
- February 10, 2015: The Ruby Circle by Richelle Mead
- February 22, 2015: Academy Awards
- March 10, 2015: Wicked Charms by Janet Evanovich
- March 20, 2015: Insurgent
- May 1, 2015: Avengers: Age of Ultron
- May 15, 2015: Pitch Perfect 2
- June 19, 2015: Fantastic Four
- July 17, 2015: Ant-Man
- July 31, 2015: Paper Towns
- August 14, 2015: Bourne 5
- November 6, 2015: James Bond 24
- November 20, 2015: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
- December 25, 2015: Mission Impossible 5
- March 18, 2016: Allegiant Part 1
- March 25, 2016: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
- April 22, 2016: The Huntsman
- May 6, 2016: Captain America 3
- May 27, 2016: X-Men: Apocalypse
- June 17, 2016: Finding Dory
- July 1, 2016: Tarzan
- November 11, 2016: The Sinister Six
- November 18, 2016: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- March 3, 2017: The Wolverine 2
- March 24, 2017: Allegiant Part 2
- July 14, 2017: Fantastic Four 2
- July 28, 2017: Guardians of the Galaxy 2
- June 8, 2018: Godzilla 2